The Lone Ranger and Tonto went camping in the desert. After they got their tent all set up, both men fell sound asleep.
Some hours later, Tonto wakes the Lone Ranger and says, "Kemo Sabe, look towards sky, what you see?"
The Lone Ranger replies, "I see millions of stars."
"What that tell you?" asked Tonto.
The Lone Ranger ponders for a minute then says, "Astronomically speaking, it tells me there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three in the morning. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all-powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What's it tell you, Tonto?"
Tonto is silent for a moment, then says, "That you, Kemo Sabe, are dumber then buffalo s**t. Someone has stolen tent."

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Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

The Lone Ranger and Tonto are riding across a desolate stretch of Texas and take a much-needed break when they encounter a small pool of water in a seep. After drinking and refilling their canteens, they bring the horses to the pool to let them drink before continuing the journey. As the horses are drinking the Lone Ranger looks up and sees that the area surrounding the seep is filled with Comanche Indians ... in war paint.

Tapping Tonto on the shoulder and raising his arm to point out the surrounding war party, the Lone Ranger asks "Tonto, it looks like we're surrounded by a war party of hostile Indians. What do we do now?"

To which Tonto replies, as he mounts his horse, "What 'em mean 'We', white man?"

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Hawkmoon
On a good day, can hit the broad side of a barn ... from the inside

The Lone Ranger and Tonto rode into town. It was hot, so they stopped at the saloon for a drink. After a few minutes, someone came in and said, "Who does that white horse out there belong to?"

"Why, that's my horse, stranger," said the Lone Ranger.

"I just thought I'd let you know that your horse is sweating up a storm out there. He's been ridden pretty hard, and if you don't cool him down proper, he's going to turn sick on you."

"Tonto, you know what to do. Could you take care of Silver for me?"

"Alright, Kemosabe." And Tonto went out and started running in circles around Silver, waving his arms back and forth as he ran. (An old Indian trick for cooling a horse off, don't ya know.)

A few minutes later another man came into the saloon and asked, "Who does that white horse belong to?"

"Why, stranger, that's my horse," answered the Lone Ranger. "Well," said the man, "you left your Injun running!"

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Aut viam inveniam aut faciam

Rotflmfaopmp!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Lynnie, "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. "
- Albert Camus

ROFLMAO, second one has got to be the funniest

Thanks ya'll. Great way to start the day......with a hearty laugh.

Jim

I really needed a great laugh and that did it, thanks so much!!!!

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Lynnie, "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. "
- Albert Camus

I regret to inform you that Tonto died last week. The medical examiner found he was shot between the eyes with a silver bullet. When questioned the Lone Ranger confessed to the crime. When asked why he killer Tonto, the Lone Ranger replied "I found out what kemosabie really meant."

Lol.............

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Lynnie, "Nobody realizes that some people expend tremendous energy merely to be normal. "
- Albert Camus

""A few minutes later another man came into the saloon and asked, "Who does that white horse belong to?"

"Why, stranger, that's my horse," answered the Lone Ranger. "Well," said the man, "you left your Injun running!" ""

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Ill have you know I am 1/2 cherokee and my family descends from Chief skwatalat of the smeletepee tribe of oklahoma They are a small sect of the long lost Helawee tribe originally from Kentucky(If youre real quiet in the mountains at nite you can still hear one of them say "Where the Helawee").